I love this! And still learning this… Learning to say Yes to myself and what feeds my soul and No to what feels like “feeding” others!
This takes discernment and true grit! I dare say most of us, especially the women reading this, were brought up to be “nice” and take care of others needs and desires before our own. Putting every body else first.
I was certainly raised this way and by a mother who’s mantra was “I give therefore I Am.” Her whole self image was wrapped up in what other people thought about her – and us! Yes a loving, giving women but by the time she was sixty, she had nothing left to give to herself and died a slow death of Parkinson’s disease. I remember once asking her if she noticed side effects of the drugs she was taking, and she remarked that her only brother, my uncle had been over and “she didn’t want to get up and do anything for him”. Oh wow! Truth. The meds were only balancing out her own internal imbalance that had created the dis-ease… I doubt she connected the dots.
With such a role model, you think I would be more vigilant about my own needs. And I have. But it’s been a battle. Constantly checking in to find out what I want and what makes me happy. And it’s been a journey of awareness. When the conditioning in our society is so strong to make others happy first, boy it takes courage to step out of that matrix. You get called selfish. Again – and again. You get called a bitch. Or a Gritty Angel!
It also takes courage to dare to live your own life and find out what you really, really want. Personally it’s taken me years to be honest with myself about my own needs and wants and put myself first. I realized and still do sometimes, that I really didn’t know what I wanted and needed that to be the quest above all else.
Sometimes its a process of removing what isn’t working in your life first, saying no to what doesn’t serve you to leave space for the unknown to show up. I find I usually know the “no” intuitively with the niggly feeling of resistance, “I don’t wanna”! I get in trouble when I ignore this and try to go along with the person or pack.
I find getting out of the mind helps and into your heart. Feeling what brings you joy and saying yes to more of that. It’s not usually “stuff”, but experiences. Experiences that make you feel alive and expanded. Clear and connected. Empowered. Excited. That “Christmas morning feeling.” In love with life – and yourself. If it feels good, say yes! Don’t think about it. Take a deep breath and do it!
As I say Yes more and more to Me and stop caring about what others think or say, I’ve noticed more flow. More abundance. More energy. More synchronicity. More of Who I really Am. And that feels damn good!
Hell Yeah! Bring it on.